Friday, December 28, 2012

CONFUSED, TIRED. NAY.

What is it like to feel happy? To feel so calm that nothing matters at all? To feel the world is moving so fast that I'm gonna be 20 in a few days, well technically. I'm not confused about what I want, I'm not tired of living this way, I'm just grateful that I've been raised by my mom. And because of her I started to realize a few things.

I am sorry if I hurt anybody, I am sorry if I give you guys hope, I am sorry if I changed, I am sorry if I am being me and you guys don't feel like liking me or whatever. But I am me, and this is who I want to be. Thank God, I have such good friends. Nisa Mimi Liyana Azie Phimb Toncet and especially Dayana. I know that we're not that close but she knows me since high school, she sees the inner me. She is such a good friend I must say. Thank you Allah for such great life. Eyes closed, heart beats I can feel the love. I am sorry for being so egoist, so complicated sometimes. But I want what best for me. I am not choosy, but maybe I'm too scared of having relationship. Feeling the pain over and over again, it's like being stabbed over and over again and I am not strong enough to stop it, I can just cry, cry all day. So weak of me back then, I've been a slave for love since. Love is for someone that are ready to commit, ready to take care of each other, love is such a powerful thing that can change your life, but it is also can ruin you.

Why rush? Why be a slave? Why not we choose a different path of love? Why not we take a step at a time? I'm a girl, I'm weak, I'm fragile, I cry a lot. But I need to stay strong but I can't do it alone.

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