OVER

LEAVING BYE. NOT USING THIS THINGY ANYMORE

FEEL STUPID

I feel so stupid reading my old posts. Hahahaha. So stupid that I want to commit suicide. I spelled DIA as DEA omg! Is that just me or everyone is like doing it in 2008! Hello. Hahaha.

But sekarang dekat life sekarang, at this point, I am glad. I'm glad that I'm happy. I'm so happy that I feel so alive. So calm yet so stress hahaha. Final is like 2 days ahead, and I'm here still typing -,-. This is the time to be happy, to enjoy urself, to just be you! Kawan-kawan matrik jadi rapat since lepas matrik. Tak lupa kawan-kawan sekolah. Untung jugak sekolah dekat negeri orang! :P. And further study pun dekat negeri same! Hahahaha. So banyak kutip kawan jugak. That is what I call experience.

Matrik, bosan. First word that came across my mind. The first word I could ever think about. But after a year later. I feel like, they are so great, but well nobody's perfect. Mungkin ada yang menjengkelkan, menyampah, gedik and macam-macam, but kita tak boleh memilih sangat dalam hidup ini. So kita just kena biasakan je :). Buat biasa hahaha ewah. But orang yang haku tak okay dulu, eh okay at first, but menyampah at last, is now okay kot? Sebab who am I nak menyampah dengan orang kan? Kalau macam tuh baik duduk dunia sendiri, pilih kawan sendiri haha. So just live your life. Enjoy. Keep calm.  Friends are the person you'd referred to someday.

P/s : Thanks you guys for making me happy and also my familia :). Yes of course!

CONFUSED, TIRED. NAY.

What is it like to feel happy? To feel so calm that nothing matters at all? To feel the world is moving so fast that I'm gonna be 20 in a few days, well technically. I'm not confused about what I want, I'm not tired of living this way, I'm just grateful that I've been raised by my mom. And because of her I started to realize a few things.

I am sorry if I hurt anybody, I am sorry if I give you guys hope, I am sorry if I changed, I am sorry if I am being me and you guys don't feel like liking me or whatever. But I am me, and this is who I want to be. Thank God, I have such good friends. Nisa Mimi Liyana Azie Phimb Toncet and especially Dayana. I know that we're not that close but she knows me since high school, she sees the inner me. She is such a good friend I must say. Thank you Allah for such great life. Eyes closed, heart beats I can feel the love. I am sorry for being so egoist, so complicated sometimes. But I want what best for me. I am not choosy, but maybe I'm too scared of having relationship. Feeling the pain over and over again, it's like being stabbed over and over again and I am not strong enough to stop it, I can just cry, cry all day. So weak of me back then, I've been a slave for love since. Love is for someone that are ready to commit, ready to take care of each other, love is such a powerful thing that can change your life, but it is also can ruin you.

Why rush? Why be a slave? Why not we choose a different path of love? Why not we take a step at a time? I'm a girl, I'm weak, I'm fragile, I cry a lot. But I need to stay strong but I can't do it alone.

Wishlist

What do I love most? What makes my adrenaline rush? What makes me smile? What makes me feel calm, peace, happy at the same time? Well first of all. I would like an iPod haha! Well hello. I dont have any memory card on my phone, so its hard for me to download any games or stickers for LINE hello. Sticker is indeed compulsory for anyone who has a LINE apps. Okay. So an iPod would be nice since I love to listen to music. So phone is for online, texting, calls, and iPod is for music only. Tadaaa. Hehe.

I would love notebook. For me to write anything that I have in mind. Well blog is not suitable to write everything. I'd prefer books. But takde buku yang comel-comel cantik-cantik saya pun pilih lah blog hehe! Ahhh paintball! Yes. Take me to that place!! Rock climbing omg serious nak jugak. And jeans FOS tuh! Hahahaha lawa okay! So tuh je :P

Sit Tight.

When you are far apart, only have a few chance to meet. What would you do? What plan you have in mind?

Bagi saye, kalau macam jauh, or dekat but jarang jumpa, jarang text, jarang communicate, I'd prefer a nice meal eat together and just talk about everything. That is all what I'll ask for. I wont ask for a nice dinner at the most expensive restaurant...kayanya kau -,-. For me I dont care where, when, but just ada effort to meet. Effort yang I can see, kita boleh tahu kan macam mana orang tuh dengan kita, ikhlas ke tidak ke ape kan. So wayang is way out of the list, mall nope saye tak minat, nice place with a nice view. Thats more I like it. But nak memilih sangat pun tak boleh! Hahaha. Best kan kalau macam tuh. Seronok je. Rasa macam peace je kot, seriously. I really am in love with nature. Just take me anywhere I wont get bored. I want something different every single day. The same routine is quite bored I supposed but who cares, as long as theres you and me. I wont regret it. But the effort that counts

MISSING

Hilang lagi? Asyik hilang je sorang budak ni. Kate kawan. Hmm. Maybe he assume that haku ada boipreng ke? Kot-kot lah. Haku perasan lebih je hahaha. Well, kadang-kadang perasan itu perlu okay. Terpaksa lah syok sendiri. Asyik berahsia je kan. But one thing that make me sad is kalau asyik hilang je. Maybe he is the best person that happens to be in my life kot? Not in a romantically way lah! Just dia best lah. He makes me realize that not to fall in love so fast, or so serious when youre not ready to commit. Well, I hope you'll find someone very soon! Asyik sensorang je, busy je memanjangkan. Kerja-kerja jugak, belajar jangan lupa. Rumah pun jangan lupa. Yelah, siapa lah saya nak menasihati haha. JANGAN LUPA SAYA JUGAK.

Saya pun tak bersedia lah nak jejakkan kaki dalam dunia cinta ni. Orang je banyak suka saya, saya kan cantik, gigi besi. Semua laki suka hahahahah SO NOT. EWW. So, I am totally not ready, cuma rasa serba salah. I mean bukan lah reject tapi nak bagi dia faham yang saya bukan untuk digoda sekarang haha. Ewah. Tapi seriously, saya nak rasa bebas sekejap dulu. Rimas rimas rimas. Kalau ada seseorang yang boleh memahami cara saya, anggap saya kawan jugak, membimbing saya. Kalau nak bawa haku ke bilik haaaa. NOPE. I'm sorry. Haku bukan untukmu. Eceh! Peace. Eh and maaf saya agak sibuk sekarang, jadi saya akan sedaya upaya buat benda itu lepas saya exam okay. Sorry!

ENERGETIC! HELL YEAH

Okay. Tonight which is dated 13/12/12 I am so freaking-ly-ish excited or slash energetic. I'm feeling that my body doesnt get tired at all. And I dont feel sleepy at all. Maybe it is a good sign. As a start for me to start revising!! Like hello, my final is like in two weeks for God sake. I realize that but I just dont want to realize that? You know what I mean? Its like, youre hungry and theres a cafe downstairs and youre so lazy to get up from bed and walk like 500 meter just to eat! And when your mom calls like "Hye ma, buat apa tuh? "Tak buat apa pun, sihat? Dah makan?" "Sihat alhamdulillah ma, emm belum cafe jauh lah ma malas nak turun" <<< U see this?! Like hello saje je kan nak bagi excuse so that mak kau bagi kau kereta or whatever kan? In your dreams suckers! HAHA. Okay whatever.

What I want to express here is that, I'm tired of listening to what people ask, critics, or whatever. Its like I didnt have any control of myself until people controls me first! NAAHH. Not going to happen y'all. Its like a group work. They like talk behind my back and saying I'm doing anything or I'm so lazy doing this that. Its not like that. Its just me being dont care about you! Bcs you didnt inform me anything duh. Okay so earlier I was doing my notes about the presentation tomorrow, I am preparing for it so that I dont choke okay! I'm nervous! So suddenly something or some idea come across my mind. And I was eager to know about it because I need to plan my 5 years journey from now on. I want take this seriously. So I enter my YES password and the survey begins. I dont want to be the girl that knows nothing about IT! Atleast I know something. Slowly. Keep calm and just shut your mouth open you ears. So I search about CERTIFICATES IN IT. So there are many of them. And my sister is taking one of them nextyear. She is 29! And she is taking the most biggest certificates in the world. Like hell yeah. I'm proud because she is the one who we can hope for at the end of the day. I'm not saying that my bros cant but aahhhh theres so many stories behind the sentence MY BROS CANT. SEE! I'm doing the tree again. Meaning I'm telling a story then in a story I'll tell another story, then another story then back to the first story? What is wrong lah with you Najwa. Haiya.

Okay. So about the certificates, I am eager about it. I feel like I want to study hard and I need to take note about it one by one starting from now on. SO! STUDY HARD. And ignore the blabla of other people about this, because youre also need to know just listen and you'll get something. Dont be so bodoh sombong in this life okay.

GROUPING

Kalau nak buat kerja dalam group kenalah saling bekerjasama. Kalau asyik nak buat kerja sendiri sahaja, tak nak bahagi tugas. Padahal, dah macam lantik diri sendiri as ketua kan. So I think macam tak sesuai nak marah orang lain. Alang-alang buat kerja sekali, bahagi kerja, dapat juga merapatkan ukhwah betul tak? Kenapa sombong sangat ni? Takpe. Kalau nak buat seorang diri takpe. Tapi tak salah kalau inform or ajak orang untuk buat sekali. Ketua mestilah arahkan budak-budaknya. Betul tak? Jadi pengajaran untuk diri dan rakan-rakan sekalian. Before nak marah, salahkan orang lain, fikir sejenak, sama ada betul ataupun tidak tindakan yang melulu itu. Fikir dulu, sudah atau belum kau bagitahu groupmates kau tentang hal ini. Jangan expect orang akan tahu sendiri, sebab bila buat sendiri, banyak pulak kritikan yang diberi. So, macam tak selesa lah aku kan. Jadi aku rasa aku malas nak satu group dengan kau dah okay :)

SISTERS/FRIENDS

Hey, this is Wawa (ME of course) Phimb Toncet Aten Azie and Dayana. Just now we're watching The Twilight Saga-Breaking Dawn Part 2. Like hello! I am so obessed with Robert Pattinson okay, I wont miss this last episode of Twilight okay duh whatevs.

Petang semalam message dengan Azie pasal  nak keluar lah konon, siapa yang cuti siapa yang tak cuti. Aku rapat dengan Azie Phimb Tonc, sebab dorang dormates masa form5 so macam tak tau macam mana still contact oh yes, pasal masa form5 kami ni suka buat forum ala-ala sisters gitu. Selalu lepak lepas prep malam-malam buta bercerita. And masa tuh jahil sikit u know gossiping pasal people, but sekarang not anymore kot sebab jarak jauh membuatkan kami realize that banyak lagi benda yang boleh diborakkan. Masa sangat singkat, sangat berharga buat kami. Dan kami hanya jumpa dalam setahun sekali atau setahun dua kali. Jadi masa yang ada amat digunakan dengan sebaiknya.

Well back to the hangout plans. All of us are on holiday eh opps not ALL, me and Dayana are studying in the same U, so kami senang gerak sekali and yes kami senang nak jumpa any weekends sebab kami dekat sini je. Sebab aku je orang Ipoh so macam susah lah nak jumpa since kalau aku cuti aku balik Ipoh. Hmm.  Masa jumpa ni agak lama and agak excited. Aku really appreciate them. They're my besties my everything. I feel so calm when I'm around them. It's like all of my problems suddenly poof disappeared! And I just feel happy. I feel complete. They're just like my other family.
And I just dont have anything to hide or feeling awkward or being someone else when I'm around them. Hmm. I'm just being me. The best feeling on earth I suppose. The feeling of relief. Maybe it's fate :) hahaha. OKAY LAPCHU!

I Just Can't..

It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.

                                                                                                  -Albert Einstein

I am yet pretty am feeling lonely..

Aku tak tau kenapa aku boleh rasa macam ni lately. Aku rasa macam dipinggir gila. Rasa macam karma bertalu-talu datang dekat aku. Ataupun macam satu pengalaman pahit yang telah ditakdirkan supaya aku bersusah-susah dahulu dan bersenang-senang kemudian.. Aku ibarat merasai hatiku terhiris.. Air mataku terlalu murah untuk mengalir. Terlalu senang aku merasa derita, terlalu lembut hati ini. Adakah semua keputusan ini betul? Adakah aku bertindak dengan tepat? Adakah aku terlalu mengikut perasaan?

Hmm. Dear A, whatever it is, you will always be in my heart. Aku sangat tidak mampu untuk memadam segala memori yang telah kita ukir. Aku ternyata menipu diri sendiri. Aku tidak mampu untuk bertentang mata.. Aku terhiris. Walaupun kita tiada jodoh bersama, terima kasih atas kasih sayang dan segala kasih yang telah kau curahkan. Aku sangat menghargainya. Now I know the feeling, the feeling of loving someone, it is so deep that you hardly can't erase it..

Aku pohon serta berharap, aku harap tiada lagi bertentangan mata antara kita berdua. Janganlah takdir mempertemukan kita. Janganlah kita berselisih lagi selepas ini. It's been two years. And baru lately kita macam ada berjumpa and berani untuk bertegur. Tetapi entah mengapa, aku tidak mampu untuk memandangmu. Aku tidak mampu untuk menepis godaan matamu.. I just can't forget you.

Being Astrayed..

I am feeling very sad. Seriously. It's like I'm not belong here. Is it me or is it the people around me?  

SITUATION ONE!

The guy that I'm telling you about is so complicated. I just don't know where to start. Aku tak tau aku being syok sendiri or whatever. Tapi aku rasa macam aku suka dia, eventho we never even met. Okay whatever. Lately, aku rasa macam disindir and rasa terhina gila. Rasa macam he's avoiding me or something. Aku just doesn't feels like playing any puzzles. Seriously. Berteka-teki all the time, sampai bila kau nak nampak hasilnya? Sangat macam fed up. Bukan macam tak sabar. Tapi aku just nak tau what is going on? Kalau kau macam nak stay friends okay, I'll just go and friend-zoned you. Jangan lah macam nak expect aku boleh baca semua hints kau. I'm not that kind of girl yang boleh faham semua hints ni. Aku tak suka benda yang macam tak direct. Contoh, macam kau nak tanya pasal kenapa aku call? Aku call dua kali je weh. Kau tweet cakap "Ada apa call banyak kali". Aku call dua kali je kot. Tak payah lah nak mention dekat twitter. Rasa macam kau avoid aku gila-gila. And aku rasa sentap sangat bila orang macam unmention aku. Kau pun tak suka bila orang lain macam perli kau dekat kau. Why should you do the same. Kalau kau rasa macam malas nak layan, okay just cakap dengan aku, cakap je macam you, kita tak payah lah contact buat masa ni. Haa, that's all and I get it. Aku bukan nak kau berterus terang cakap "I suka you, jom couple." Haa tak payah lah macam ni. Aku bukan nak rush things. Tuh je. And lama-lama aku akan macam buat conclusion sendiri. Aku dah try jadi se-cool habis. Tapi walau se-cool mana pun perasaan insecure dia mesti ada even banyak or sikit. Okay the end  :)

  

UPM-ians

Hye new year new life new friends

This is Onnie. Classmate. She's 20 y/o. I think she's cool. Wish me luck.

And this is also Onnie and this little guy haha! He is 19 y/o but so small kan. Haha comel gila. Okay. And ada lagi Weena. So currently mcm kinda close lah kan. Sebab dorang macam okay je. Mcm cool je. Senang nak get along. But whatever it is, i sincerely do not want to get attached with this friendship. Soon its heartbreaking kot. Memang lah kalau gaduh benda biasa, tapi entah risau pulak kalau-kalau macam effect ape-ape ke kan. And sekarang ni hari Sabtu I really wish I can adapt with this lifestyle. Ergh :)

i am just too fragile right now. is it my fault that im not strong enough? is it? what is wrong with me?! i just cant stop being sad. is it bcs im gonna leave my mom soon? again? sigh sigh. just pls dont be harsh to me. im delicate at the moment. somehow, i just cant express what i really feel inside without crying. yes, i cry a lot. its like my heart is breaking without knowing why? the reason why it all happened. kadang-kadang rasa macam lost hope. lost everything. lost motivation. lost inspiration. seriously. rasa sangat sedih, and theres no one to talk to? tapi tak. rasa macam orang takkan faham. tapi macam mana pun semua orang takkan lalui situasi yang sama, cuma berlainan, tapi mungkin apa yang dirasai sama. i am very grateful that my two bestfriends from highschool is there with me. we havent met since a year ago kot. lama sangat. tapi mmg bila saat macam sedih gila dorang will always be there. seriously. like always weh. kawan kalau keluar macam mana pun kalau kawan dia in trouble ke apa mesti akan tolong jugak. love you! and MJ, seriously thanks. i just dont know how to thank you. even you always boring haha annoying rimas sbb i ni mcm hindu sikit cakapnya kan. but i miss you k and thanks

PRIVACY

Theres this thing I like to keep a secret. The END.

I'M SAD

I feel like crying over and over again. Kenapa perasaan macam ni mesti ada eh? Why I cant be tough? I can pretend I am. But I'd end up crying. Stop pushing. Stop hurting. Stop being cruel to me. I'm hurting inside. Just leave me alone. Leave me in this dark room of mine, left the door closed, locked. Let me just live blindly, live unspoken as if my blindness speak behalf my feelings. I suffered. Rotting inside. Waiting for the end to come. Waiting for the door to be unlocked. Waiting and waiting.. when I knew no one will come.

It hurts when you tried to please people, tried to be cool all the time, you end up hurt. Why can't no one understands? Understand the pain I've carried all this time. I'm not asking for anything. I just want you to be honest with me. Talk to me like there's no one else. Love me like I'm the only girl you have left. Like.. As if all these dreams come true.

SHAME ON YOU

IT'S NOT THAT I AM BEING ALL PIOUS-Y PERSON ALL OF A SUDDEN.

Okay ini betul berdasarkan pengalaman. For those yang sedang hangat bercinta, baik bertudung atau tidak, baik Islam atau tidak. Pasti setiap ajaran dan agama di atas muka bumi ini ada menyatakan pasal bersikap bersederhana?

I am just not that comfortable sitting around with a bunch of lovey-dovey couple yang nak landing on each other, nak berpegang tangan, bersuap-suapan. Seriously. Don't do it publicly. Respect others. Respect orang punya mata please. Respect orang punya hati. Kerana dari mata jatuh ke hati hahaha! Its just not cool for you to show to people that you guys are having a good time together. Naah. Have some manners. Sebab cubalah bayangkan anda sedang bermanja peluk-peluk kawan mak/ayah korang lalu. Malu lah sikit. And for perempuan. Perempuan yang menjaga maruah keluarga. Dari situ orang boleh judge family kita.

INSECURITY

HELLLO AGGAAAIIIINNN.

Today me want to share something about Insecurity. Okay. Lets beehhhgginn hihi. Aku seorang perempuan. And yes aku straight. Aku pencinta lelaki. Aku juga tidak didampingi oleh sesiapa oleh itu aku single muahaha. Aku juga tidak mencari ataupun terhegeh kepada sesiapa. Walaubagaimanapun aku berharap pada si jejaka itu. *sigh *sigh hehe! TIBA-TIBA PULAK PROMOTE DIRI!!

Okay. Perempuan pun ada jugak panduan nak dapat lelaki yang dia nak. Haaa meh lah share. Mula-mula dia start message dulu, eh salah mula-mula mintak nomboq. Mula-mula nak start message pun malu. Dah ada nomboq ni, tunggu punya tunggu, nak dekat sebulan baru nak message. HAAAA ini type yang memalu kucing punya perempuan haha. Last-last nanti melepas. Sebab lambat sangat perghh menyesal tak guna adik.

Kalau aku pulak, jenis tak suka tunggu, malu tuh tolak tepi dulu, sebab in order to get what we want kita kena berusaha, takdak usaha, tak dapat lah betul? So kawan aku semua cakap aku tak malu sangat haha. Nak buat macam mana. Aku memang malas nak gedik sangat memalu ni. Malu sikit-sikit sudah lah. Aku punya malu macam aku malu nak terus terang aku suka, aku nak ajak skype, haaa malu aku macam tuh. Tak malu aku macam ajak jumpa ka, ajak message ka. Liddat yaw. Okay mula-mula message, proses ini agak lama sikit nak menyesuaikan diri. Dia ibarat macam in love ni.


Dah lama-lama message kita macam in love sebab kita dah selesa dengan dia, bila kita selesa kita mesti ada rasa suka tuh. Deep down mesti ada. Mesti punya. Jangan tipu lah. Haha. Bila in love/suka kita mula lah macam nak conquer dia untuk kita sorang. Tapi sebenarnya tak baik kaedah ini akak-akak abang-abang. Dalam sesuatu hubungan kita kena sabar, dan tenang. Bila kita macam mula rasa gelabah, sakit hati, cemburu yang amat sangat mula lah kita rasa insecure dengan dia. Sebab tuh kita kena relaks. Kalau tak mulalah rasa ketidak percayaan kian membuak. Seriously. Lelaki suka awek dia relaks kot? Macam tenang je and at the same time percaya. Boleh je macam tuh. Pupuk dalam diri supaya percaya. Paling teruk pun broken hearted. Sawan masuk wad gila wakaka. Tapi serious, aku pun macam ada problem jugak nak baca hints. Lelaki suka bagi hints, but aku memang bebal buat-buat tak faham je. Sebab aku tak suka berperasan. Perli dekat twitter ke, hape ke. Just cakap terus terang je lah dengan aku. Maybe aku gelabah orangnya tapi aku tak gelabah soal perasan. Sebab tuh lah sampai sekarang aku single. Woah macam tak percaya aku boleh survive single. Hmm Hmm bercinta memang indah tapi kalau tak kena gaya hmm terkecundang kelak.

Kalau rasa insecure sangat, makan diri. Boyfriend lari, kita broken-hearted, kita sumpah seranah semua lelaki, padahal semua tuh datang pada diri kita sendiri. Hmm.

GROW UP

OMG OMG! It just so stupid when you're using the doh word and people was like, KL nya kau nyah. And I was like its just a word, and he said yes its a word but itu like trademark KL?

Okay I just printscreen but on the second thought its just not nice to show it publicly. And I am very annoyed with these kind of people. Korang nak mendiskriminasi satu negeri just based on the trademarks. Just like the 5 days mc? U judge Singaporean just bcs of the stupid video? Why are you guys being so stupid? Like seriously. Its not like aku cakap belakang, sebab I also confront him. Its not cool to just discriminate others just by a word. So not cool. This is why I cant stand immature gaiz. They're just so lame. FYI, people who doesn't sees the real world only acted this way. So lame. They're got nothing to do. Keep busybody-ing.

It's not cool you know. It's pasal dorang dah biasa duduk dalam comfort zone. Well Ipoh bukan ada apa pun, so boleh lah dikategori as macam a boring place. So kira macam bila someone dah selesa duduk satu tempat dia duduk, they'll never grow up and acted stupid. Dia macam satu culture shock weh. I'm not saying that I am all this poyo berlagak tahu semua ni. But seriously. My friends semua macam ni. Bila further studies tempat jauh sikit, lepas tuh bila balik kita kan macam terikut accent kan, macam nak bahan. Bahan and like diskriminasi. Chillax lah bro. Tak lawak kot kau nak bahan. Kau macam boleh buat gaduh je dua negeri ni. And nanti tak pasal kau punya mulut, semua cop Ipoh ni suckers semua. Bodoh lah. Grow up boleh tak? Memang lah Ipoh ni kecik and tau lah kau ni hotstuff Ipoh hahaha! So tak payah lah nak poyo sangat. Takde nak tunding jari dekat sesiapa. Its fact! Memang kenyataan pun. Siapa nak terasa harap maaf. Saya sekadar menulis apa yang diperhati and dirasai ewah haha!

But seriously, kau should look yourself in the mirror before you start judging others. Words can only be forgiven not forgotten. Words do kill. Be cautious on what you gonna say. It might causes you an enemy.

DICABUL

AKU RASA ORANG YANG BACA  BLOG AKU, EH ORANG YANG AKU TULIS PASAL DIA AND DIA BACA AKU RASA MACAM DIRI AKU KENA ROGOL. TAKUT! HAHA. EVEN AKU TAK PERNAH EXPERIENCE. KEPADA MATA-MATA DILUAR SANA. HARAP MAAF. SEKIRANYA TERASA MENYAMPAH ATAU TERASA SAYA NI SYOK SENDIRI HAHA. SORRY MWAHXX

SICK MAMA

Perasaan bila mak kita sakit is very devastating. Mungkin dia always berleter, marah, dan most of the time she will always like marah bila kita buat benda tak kena, or for no reasons she will just marah je kita.

And yes mestilah kita macam bengang gila, sakit hati tak terkata ni, sumpah seranah dalam diri, call kawan cerita penuh emosi, and yes kita akan rasa serba salah pada keesokan hari haha eh ataupun sebelum tidur. Perempuan memang macam tuh rasanya. Ke aku sorang je emosi macam tuh? Haha. Before tidur memang akan fikir balik and akan rasa serba salah gila and takkan say sorry. I'm too ego for that. I don't have the guts to tell her that I'm sorry.

So, these couple of days, she iz sick. Very sick. I cried when the moment I spoke to her. Seriously. Mungkin aku macam tak kisah je, tak caring, tak errr bukan anak yang baik sangat. But deep down seriously I'm too ego to show that I love her. And aku macam jaga dia tak macam caring punya type punya jaga lah haha. Faham kan? Tak keling sangat kan ayat? Haha well. Kalau tak ayat macam hindu its not me lah kot kan? :P. Hmm. Nak harapkan abang-abang. Allah haha! Harapannya!

Mandikan dia, buatkan makanan semua, air semua, seriously first time tengok my mom sakit macam ni. FIRST TIME okay. Risau tak terhingga. Dah tiga hari and yet no change. Hmm and oh yes tadi baru bagi tau kakak. And she was like "Najwa." "Yaw" "Jaga mama elok-elok tau. Semalam akak ada bad dream pasal mama" Oh shittt! Dalam hati je lah haha! "Mimpi apa pulak ni? Haha" "Kakak tak nak lah fikir bukan-bukan tapi akak takut lah" "Najwa ni ha lagi takut ni tapi senyap-senyap pulak"

Are you crazy?! Eh ada lagi bawah-bawah tuh. Tapi nak focus yang ni je haha. Bagi burden dekat aku sorang! Takut weh. Serious takut. And my bro, Qiam pulak was like "Najwa tau tak mama pernah kena buat orang" "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa --'. Bila ni?" "Ada masa tuh najwa kecik lagi lah. Qiam takut mama ni kena buat je." Tup tup my bro, Angah pulak turun "Angah rasa mama kena apa" "Macam-macam angah fikir dalam otak ni" hahahaha bongok lah.

Whatever it is, maybe ini petanda yang suruh aku jaga mama. Well abah is MIA! Missing leaving me his family. Hmm. Okay pape lah haha. InsyaAllah takde ape kot kan? Haizz takut dah ni. Tulis ni pun nangis-nangis sikit tau. I iz hurt you know haaaaa. KBYE! xoxo